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Drunken Teenage Pedo-Turtles
by SundaySmash

It occurs to me that normally a company pays handsomely for the type of celebrity endorsement Marc and I frequently give to Chimay, but then I remember two things: the money earned selling the beer is used to fund charitable works performed by the monks who brew it, and neither of us is a celebrity yet. I guess that leaves us with merely a peer to peer recommendation for you. Here we go: My name is Kevin Seibert and sure, I’ll drink beers that aren’t Chimay… I just won’t be happy about it.

Or we could bring in some actual celebrities. Four celebrities, to be exact.

And now, my (incredibly late) opinion of Weezer’s most recent recording, Raditude, which I just heard for the first time this week.

It would be nice if everyone would just come to accept that the days of the Blue album and Pinkerton are over. Bands need to progress as the years go on and sometimes we just need to accept that progression is going to be regression. After the emotional rollercoaster and gut-wrenching honesty that was Pinkerton, it’s nice to know Rivers Cuomo and company can come back after a hiatus and release several albums’ worth of pop radio wannabe garbage. And this is exactly what you will find in Raditude, times ten.

The problem with the Green Album, Maladroit, Make Believe, and the Red Album was that you would still occasionally have moments of genuine old fashioned Weezer interrupting the waste. I would be reminded of why I loved Weezer in the first place when I heard songs such as Slob, Photograph, The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived, and Dreaming. This all vanishes with Raditude. I can honestly say that Rivers has completely and totally forgotten what band he plays in after listening to Can’t Stop Partying featuring Li’l Wayne. You remember Li’l Wayne, the guy who sings about how he’s like a lollipop and wants to be licked, right? And by the time I got to In the Mall, I felt like everything that once made Weezer the champion of the nerds, geeks, and losers was as extinct as the dinosaurs. I sat back after the final song, emotionally spent, and breathed a sigh of relief. Weezer has at long last expended every last bit of good will I had given them for changing my musical life back in 1994 and I can finally move on.

-Kevin