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Sphincter Inferno
by Kevin

To those who felt last week’s comic delved too deeply into depravity and the macabre, we deliver a triumphant return to our roots and our one true love: jokes about human excrement.

It has been said working in an office is like being a member of a family. You are crammed in uncomfortably close quarters with people that you did not choose to surround yourself with. Unlike family, however, you have even less in common with these people because you lack the bond of a shared bloodline. Also, you spend more time around these vagrants than your real family. This said, people who share an office have an immense opportunity to wrong each other in a myriad of ways.

I’ve never actually had my lunch stolen, but the comic is a fairly accurate depiction of what would most likely ensue if I were to have this type of problem. One of my favorite activities is hatching elaborate schemes in revenge for real or imagined sins. A prank war I was involved in ended with the pilfering of a rival’s underwear and subsequently tie dying it. It was then boxed up, marked with his mother’s return address, and deposited in his mailbox. Have you seen the face of a man who believes he’s receiving a care package from home and discovers instead he has obtained his own vandalized undergarments? It is exquisite.

This young man was my friend. Imagine the torment I would visit upon a nemesis.

-Kevin