Blog - The Return to the Violence Trough:

by Kevin
Sun, Feb 06, 2011


The long-running war between my household and Comcast has stretched on for years. Today I deliver my latest return volley. Take care as you read the comic. I’d hate to see anyone hurt in the crossfire.

I initially resisted having internet in my home, and instead opted to take my laptop with me to places with wifi access. It was cheaper for me to drive to a cafe, purchase a cup of coffee, and take care of everything a couple of nights a week than it was to pay a monthly bill. Then one day in the mail, I received an offer for internet from Comcast at a reduced monthly rate, so I called and set up an appointment for them to come by and set it up.

For a couple of months things were fine, until inexplicably my bill increased before the initial year was up. I called Comcast, and it turned out they had given me additional service that I didn’t request or even know about, but was now being billed for. I told them to cancel the parts I didn’t order and change my bill. I was assured this would be taken care of.

Apparently it wasn’t, because for the next five or so months, my bill was incorrect and I had to call in every single month to get them to adjust it. I told them they could save everyone involved a lot of time if they just got my bill right the first time, because there was no way I would ever give them a cent more. Towards the end of this debacle, it turned into me phoning them when my bill was as little as 10 cents more than it should be, and tenaciously refusing to hang up until they assured me they adjusted my bill. It was the principle of the matter at that point, and I refused to lose. Finally, a customer service representative gave me one month at a reduced rate. That solved that problem.

A couple of months later, however, I received a bill that was higher again. When I called in, they claimed I had only paid half my bill that month. My roommate and I each include a check for half the bill in the payment envelope every month, and this had never been a problem before, but in this case they had cashed his check and somehow lost mine. I told them I would send in the extra amount with my next bill and the representative agreed this was okay.

Later that week, however, I received a “courtesy” phone call from a Comcast employee demanding that I pay the amount immediately (preferably over the phone for a “convenience fee”) or I might be forwarded to a collection agency. Faithful readers may recall that I previously worked in a customer service call center, and as a result, have a great deal of compassion for these poor fools who find themselves trapped in this undesirable line of work. The smug tone of this particular representative combined with the threat of collections and months of unprofessionalism and ineptitude on the part of Comcast, however, coalesced into one incredibly powerful being, a being who launched a massive blast of rage directed at this one unfortunate individual. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I recall there being parts about never missing a payment in the past, this being Comcast’s fault for losing my check in the first place, and that I would send them a replacement check, “when I’m good and ready, and I am neither good nor ready yet.” At the end, the representative asked, “Do you think you will send it soon?” to which I growled, “Maybe,” and hung up.

At this point, my invoices have more or less been accurate, but last week I tried to download a podcast, which ended up taking 14 minutes. During the wait, I began work on the script that became the comic you see before you today. The problem is that I can’t get “high speed” internet from anywhere else. Comcast has literally no competitors where I live, therefore service doesn’t matter to them.

Comcast does provide one valuable service, however; I can blame my poor playing skills in World of Warcraft on lag rather than the fact that I actually just suck.